My #1 Son…


"What I always want to be doing..hanging at the beach.

My son TJ – or Tom – I wanted a TJ when he was born so I named him after his dad (Tom). I needed a J name to complete my mission and at the time, I had been watching my friend’s children. Her son Joseph was staying with me and I it just seemed to fit. TJ is 29 years old and will be hitting the big 3-0 on May 14th. I can’t believe that I am the mom of a 30 year old. It seems like yesterday that I was 5 months pregnant in the hospital hemorrhaging and praying that he would be healthy. I had had a miscarriage only 8 months prior this pregnancy seemed like it might be going the same way. Mother’s day came on Sunday, May 9th and I was still pregnant with 7 weeks left to go. On May 11th I had a car accident and got the bejeebys scared out of me. TJ made his appearance on May 14th….healthy, mouthy and wise.
Today, TJ is a school teacher and he also volunteers to direct a robotics team at his school. He is brilliant…(at least that’s what he tells us). Well really, he is very smart – when he was born we threw out all the encyclopedias in the house. Somehow knowledge just came to him. He never had to study during his K-12 years. Evertything was easy. He was spoiled and my husband and I both should take the blame. He got a big surprise when he went to college though, things weren’t that easy and he had to dig in and hit the books. He never got in trouble with the law (probably talked his way out of a lot of crap) but him and I seemed to scrap a lot. I just wanted him to conform to my way…isn’t that the way it is supposed to be? Well as it turns out, TJ is a lot like me. He is fickle and has visions of grandeur. His goal is to run a business from the beach with a laptop. I don’t think that’s happening but I give him a lot of credit for wishing. TJ moved out of our home about 8 years ago. At first my heart was broken, then I started to see how easy life was without all the constant fighting over cleaning his room or completing his work or …just about everything. He just wanted to march to the beat of his very own drum. So as I reflected and thought about all the tumultuous years, I decided to do what my mother would have done. I changed the locks. Yes, I did. I didn’t give him a key either. We get along much better now. After 3 unsuccessful attempts of having room-mates that would tolerate the mess, he is now living with his girlfriend. She is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time. She is sweet and honest and hard-working. Emily loves him and he loves her. I don’t think she puts up with too much nonsense – or at least I hope she doesn’t. They are buying their first home next month. I am really proud of him. Whenever I meet people on the street that know TJ, they always tell me what a fine young man he turned out to be…that’s all I can hope for. My husband and two other children just smile and shrug and say thank you to them…he is one of a kind!

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